One interesting thing about getting older is watching all the children you have known over the years become adults, including your own of course. For me, some of the relationships with their parents have changed or even become acrimonious, but I still love those kids. All of them.
So I don’t mind at all when they ask to fb friend me or something like that. I want to know how they are doing, what kind of person are they now, I want to talk with them as adults.
It is funny though, for most of them, in my mind’s eye, when I think of them, often the image I have is when I met them as children or some significant period of time when we interacted a lot when they were kids.
I know they are adults, and relate to them as adults. I try to be friendly, & not too paternal or patronizing, I tease, debate, joke, dialogue, & so forth with them, like I would some other young adult I am just getting to know. But when they are doing something I think is stupid, I get more pissed than I would at some “new person”, when they do something great, I share more pride than I would at some “new person”, when they are doing something that I believe to be a danger, I am more concerned than I would be with some “new person”. I have to some of their chagrin,I am certian, been known to call their parents and tell when I thought they may be making decisions that could imperil them.
I am not sure if their parents thought I was over-reacting or being a busybody, but in every case that I have done so, I felt I would be betraying the family if I didn’t say something.
Probably, unknown to these kid/adults I share in some small way, some of the worries & hopes that their parents have for these kid/adults.
They are very much, my nieces & nephews, but they are more than that, they are “real people” they aren’t just my old friends children to me.
I want to see them fulfill their potential and above all, to be truly content with who & what they are.
I have watched with trepidation some of these kids make horrible decisions and have to go through the agony & consequences of those decisions, but I have also seen some of those same kid/adults overcome their “tumult & trials” to be adults that I like, that I like hearing about, that I believe will be okay in the end. I have seen some of them blossom without having to drag themselves through the mud and seem to know & be comfortable with who they are at a relatively early age.
So for me, one of the things that counters the sucky aspects of getting older, is watching the new generation grow up.
I watch with baited breath sometimes as my own kid/adults step into their paths, make their choices and realize & become “who they are”, but I will always be their dad. Just like my dad is to me. We relate to each other as adults, we laugh, tease, debate, discuss, & do things that friends do, but he will always be my father, there will always be a small part of me that has the emotions, thoughts & expectations of a child regarding him. Perhaps that is just me.
But for all of these kid/adults, including my own children, I share hope for the future. It is likely to be full of ups & downs, I hope that with all my shortcomings I can somehow be a friendly face to them, and someone from whom they can expect a real dialogue from & not simply rhetoric. Although, I am full of ……”opinions” and willing to debate vigorously, I have long reached the realization that I only know a tiny fraction of what can be known in this life. I hope I can impart some small portion of that to them & perhaps, run contrary to the proverb, & learn some news “tricks” from them.
So my birthday wish today is for all these kids, and is summed up by this quote
‘If there’s one wish I have for my children, it would be for them to do what they think is right and adventurous and exciting and titillating, and not to worry about what anybody says about them”
Lillian Carter
I especially like the fact that Lillian used the word "titillating"! ;{D}
Go out & get TITILLATED!
REB
